


Femslash/Slash/Intersex!Het

by Goonipers



Category: Fandom (Anthropomorphic), Fandom - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Cisgender, Intersex, Multi, Satire, Threesome, Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 06:39:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15285894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goonipers/pseuds/Goonipers
Summary: Femslash attends a convention where she meets Het and Slash. Het doesn't feel well, so Femslash escorts zir to the bedroom.





	Femslash/Slash/Intersex!Het

Femslash was strolling along a street when she saw a beautiful androgynous woman with lightweight breasts turn to cross the road at the corner. She turned her head left and right, with red locks of hair flowing over both ears. She looked stunning!  
  
Femslash sighed. What wouldn't she give to fuck that with both hands on both titties and a vibrating dildo between her thighs. She shrugged the image from her mind, and continued onto the hotel where the con awaited.  
  
Femslash was attending a feminist convention. She had heard of feminism online and wished to meet friends and acquaintances from Dreamwidth, Tumblr, Insane Journal and Livejournal. Oh, and someone from Ravelry, despite that she didn't knit. She admired her work for charity.  
  
Femslash reached the hotel and checked in. There she met Slash, who was hot, hot, riveting hot to all the fag hags and slashers around him. She wondered if he was famous online, or whether he was an actor. He had really olive tanned skin.   
  
Femslash brooded over the small stalls and tables set out, before selecting a Lesbian Pride button. She pinned it to her leather jacket.   
  
She turned round to watch Slash and his many fans when she noticed the red-haired lady walk in through the double-set of doors. Where had she seen her before? Oh, yes! On the junction's corner.   
  
Femslash wandered back out and introduced herself to the lady.  
  
"Hi – I'm Femslash. What's your name or handle?"  
  
"Er, I'm Het."  
  
"Het? Het? I didn't know any still existed! It's all threesomes these days. And slash. And me; I'm rare and hard to find sometimes," she boasted.  
  
Het rubbed her chin and tried to cover her mouth. "Oh dear, is this the feminist convention or a slashers con?" she mumbled.  
  
Femslash looked her up and down. Obviously she wore a packer. Her navy leather trousers were fit to bursting. She wore kitten heels and a loose cotton blouse. Oh, and she carried a dark red clutch and wore a backpack with the zip half-done up. Femslash itched to see what she carried inside, knowing it was more clothing.   
  
Het had simple natural makeup on, and green hazel eyes. She looked apologetic.   
  
Just then, someone swooned over Slash. He caught her before she hit the ground. "A medic?" he cried. "Anyone?"  
  
Staff rushed over and laid her down. They propped up her feet and someone else fanned her helpfully with a leaflet.   
  
Femslash appraised her. Did she want to fuck a packer or not? Maybe, if she could tease it off.   
  
She liked small challenges. So she would! She purred, and raised an arm to wrap around her shoulders and lead her to a talk/conference.  
  
Het flinched away. "No thank you," she said. "I'm here by myself."  
  
"Aw. Are you sure? You sure are pretty."   
  
"No!" said Het a little louder than she meant to, Femslash was sure. "I don't swing your way. I'm heterosexual."  
  
"I'll see you later," agreed Femslash. Something wasn't right.   
  
And she did. At the bar.  
  
***  
  
Het sure drank a lot. She'd packed away six or seven martinis. She belched, unladylike.   
  
Femslash doodled with a stick in her first cocktail. It contained pineapple.  
  
Along the bar she could see Het in bright silhouette. All her little down hairs were sticking up like bristles on the end of her chin.   
  
Femslash got up and walked over. "Now do you want to stay with me?" she tried.  
  
Het looked at her. "Oh no, not you. I fancy Slash, if you must know. I followed him down the road."  
  
"Slash is gay, I think, but he must swing bi sometimes with all those ladies loving him. I swing bi sometimes too. But not for long. Just for one night or two."  
  
"I like men!" exclaimed Het. "Nice young hot loving men."  
  
Femslash slid onto a barstool. Het sighed. "You won't leave me alone. I came for more trigger advice."  
  
"Trigger-smigger. Just warn," said Femslash. Het gaped and flinched away, trying to ward off evil.   
  
"I don't think you know what you're saying," said Het, slurring a bit herself. She wobbled, and Femslash caught her.   
  
"I'll take you to your room," she beamed.   
  
***  
  
In the elevator they met Slash who was looking downcast.  
  
"No men can be feminists they're all saying now. I'm very feminist. I'm about straight and queer women writing about two or more gay men! How am I not feminist and progressive?"  
  
"Come with us!" said Femslash. "I'm helping Het back to her room, and you can join us. Go bi for a night, like you did last year."  
  
"Very well." He cheered up. "Can we watch some porn? I love men riding bareback!"  
  
"Het, do you have a laptop?"  
  
"Only a small one. And definitely no porn while I'm away. I can be very conservative, you know."  
  
"Conservative-preservative. Preposterous! You need a good fucking to straighten you out." And someone to remove your packer while I'm at it, she thought smugly.   
  
Het opened her hotel door, and they went in. Things were strewn around in a hurry. Gone were the blue leather trousers and over the back of a chair was a simple dress. Slash remained fully clothed.   
  
He found the laptop and settled down to watch. He turned the volume up over Femslash's lustful masturbatory moans.   
  
"Oh, fuck me, fuck me," chanted Femslash. She had stripped Het down to bra and pants. She wore genderqueer boxers, and had a smattering of red pubic hair growing to her navel.   
  
Het sat down heavily in a chair, panting. She kept stealing glances over at Slash. He had an erection and was fumbling himself through his pants.   
  
Femslash ripped off her bra and dropped it in the trash can. She heaved her red ruby panties off and tipped them onto her head. Her blonde hair feathered outwards and made a halo under the hotel's harsh electric light.   
  
Her wet cunny dripped down her leg. She sat on Het's thigh and knee.   
  
"Do you like my tits?" she asked. "I love my tits. They're so... bouncy." She humped up and down.   
  
Het merely watched. "Yes, they are." She looked longingly over at Slash who was panting. His erection was out and on display. It was flushing red-brown at the tip and pre-come beaded there.   
  
Het said, "Can you do a dance please?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well? Like a lap dance please?"  
  
"No one's ever asked me to do that with my clothes off before. Come on, let's fuck."  
  
Femslash placed a hand over the packer. "Who do you identify as? Male, female or other?"  
  
"Female, I think. I just don't feel comfortable male or other. Other's such a beastly word."  
  
Slash called over, "I'm fine with that. Did you used to be male?"  
  
"I don't want to say."  
  
"I bet you have a fine, firm cunny," said Femslash. "What?" she asked as Slash roared with laughter.  
  
"You sound like a little kid, my dear," he said.   
  
"Cunny, cunt, pussy, beaver, bush, muff, quim, fanny, gash, honeypot, rosebud, twat, vag, whatever you want to call it! I've read them all! Now, let's get this off."  
  
Femslash leaned forward and yanked down Het's boxers. To her amazement, there was a cock and one ball in there. She sat back in amazement.  
  
"Whaaat?" she said, sitting back more in even greater amazement.   
  
Slash said, "What's the matter?"  
  
"She hasn't had it chopped off yet!"   
  
"Then it's my turn," yelled Slash. "Yipee! I haven't come yet."  
  
Het looked pleased through her red blush. And she blushed almost all the way down her chest. There was a slight gap, like a straight line.  
  
"What's this?" asked Femslash, tapping her there. She couldn't believe it. She was still hot, but not as much so.   
  
"Oh, these are my plastic tits," she said shyly. "They stick on."  
  
"Fantastic!" said Slash. "We'll just get rid of this bra, and I can unstick them."  
  
"But I like bras," said Het. "You're both so demanding. Why can't I have it vanilla and fluff?"  
  
"This is vanilla," said Femslash and Slash in unison.  
  
"This is practically R-rated, not M or NC-17," explained Slash. "I haven't fucked you with my cock yet."  
  
"And we haven't scissored or held hands. That's R-rated in some countries."  
Het looked between them, clutching at her undone bra. She made a decision. "Yes, I will f– make love to you both. On one condition."  
  
"What's that?" asked Femslash sorely.   
  
"That I get to consent!" she said happily. "I've always wanted to."  
  
Slash looked over to Femslash. "Now she tells us."  
  
***  
  
Het was in tears. "And it... was awful... he didn't even say hello."  
  
"He said hello to the police," said Slash firmly. He had a tanned olive arm around her. Femslash looked distraught.   
  
"I've read non-con, and I've read non-warned, but you are for real," she said. She brushed Het's tears away, and wiped light brown mascara onto her hand.   
  
"Same here," said Slash. He sat down heavily on the bed. "Now are we gonna fuck or what?"  
  
"Typical. Just like a man," muttered Femslash. "We'll fuck tomorrow. It's a big bed, we'll all pile in."  
  
"Fine. We'll fuck at first light," agreed Slash. "I could've had anyone tonight, but I picked you two, and I'm gay!"  
  
***  
  
Slash's phone rang out at dawn. He woke up sleepily, not knowing where he was, when he drew the curtains and looked down at the bed. There was a woman, which was weird; there was a man, sort of, which was weirder; and there was an indentation in the cheap bed where he'd been.  
  
Het woke up next and stretched. One of her plastic titties fell off. "Oops," she mumbled. "Where's the glue?" She got off the bed and rummaged in her backpack, then a side pocket. "Nope, not here. Must have left you at home." She had a slightly deeper voice, and a thick stubble across her chin, upper lip, cheeks and sideburns.   
  
Slash drew the curtains fully and let the morning sun coat them all. Birds tweeted and the light was nice.   
  
Femslash snored. She had a vibrator in one hand from her handbag. She clutched it like a teddy bear.  
  
"Wake up," said Slash, shaking her awake. "We're fucking before everyone else wakes up, remember?"  
  
Femslash woke and looked over Het. She had one ball and one plastic tit remaining.   
"Yes?" she said nervously. Today was definitely a lot larger a challenge than she dared herself for.   
  
Het hauled herself onto the pillows and sat up. Her hair was sticking up and tumbling loose at the same time.   
  
"Is that a wig?" asked Femslash curiously.  
  
"No, it's mine. I grew it," explained Het. She spread her legs. "I... I have like a groove behind my balls if you want to fuck that. I'm intersexed and transsexual at the same time."  
  
"Groovy!" said Slash.  
  
"And you're a transvestite with that packer."  
  
"I don't have a packer," she said tightly, "just my old cock."  
  
"Ah, yes. Sorry, forgot." Femslash hung her head. There was no cunt or clit, only a groove.  
  
Slash sat down. "Can I fuck you up the ass?"  
  
Het looked appalled. "No."  
  
Femslash asked, "Do you want my vibrator?"  
  
"Yes, somewhere along here," she pointed to the groove and back before it reached her anus. "It's nice there."  
  
"Your taint," said Slash.  
  
"But I'm a lady," cried Het. "I don't think I have a prostate. I'm both."  
  
"Is there a G-spot?" asked Femslash gently.   
  
"I don't know. I don't really ever examine inside. I don't bleed once a month."  
  
Slash leaned over and began to play with Het's nipple on the flatter side of her chest. Het screwed up her mouth to one side.   
  
"I don't know which bit you're planning on fucking now," she said.   
  
Femslash relocated her vibrator and turned it on. Het's legs wobbled in anticipation.   
  
Femslash parted the hugely hairy mound and pressed the vibrator against her cock, and never thought she would be doing this.   
  
She circled around to the sole ball and down towards the groove.   
  
"That's nice and tingly," said Het.   
  
She hadn't noticed Slash putting on a condom. He mouthed something intelligible to Femslash, who padded over and put the laptop on, eliciting a moan. The gay porn started up again, featuring a multicultural orgy of young hot men. The Polynesian was especially hot. So was the Aborigine, and so was the Saudi Arab.   
  
Femslash just wished that they were all female. It would be nice to see a Saudi Arab feminist driving a car with a female instructor, she thought.   
  
Slash said, "Bring it over here, please, dear."  
  
Femslash brought the porn over, and all three settled down to watch. After a few minutes, Femslash was bored. She daydreamed about all these fine young women online attending a feminist convention. ORGY.   
  
Het applauded at the end. "They all got off. I've never seen gay porn before."  
  
"You can't watch lesbian porn though. It all contains cock at the base of the camera. It's all for men."  
  
"And that's why ladies started writing slashy erotica in the first place," explained Slash. "To break even."  
  
"And because even the queer ones write, anyone can read it for free," added Femslash.   
  
Het said, "I only got into this wanting a woman to fuck a man."  
  
"Up the ass?" asked Slash hopefully. He was sweating rivulets.   
  
"No, on top and dominant without it tingeing BDSM. I couldn't find any."  
  
"You're not searching for the right tags," announced Femslash. She was hot, she was woman, and she was proud.   
  
"I think I'm on the wrong site," she muttered.   
  
"Just try the Internet," advised Slash. "It's got everything!"  
  
To prove it, Femslash went to AO3 and type in some keywords. "See? 55 pages of the stuff!"  
  
Het started browsing, using her finger on the touchpad scroller. "Nothing shows up in the Search Engine."  
  
"The writers ban search engines from finding them, I think," said Femslash. "They want to keep it private, among themselves on social networks."  
  
"Not on my social network," added Het. "It's all so god-damn straight there."  
  
Het parted her legs, and put one hand on her groove and began to play. "It's porn in the first sentence," she said.   
  
Slash roared, "Yes! Now you're getting it." He got his cock up, which he'd been trying to soothe during the gay porn. He began to stroke it, and encouraged Het's hand onto it.  
  
Het began to jack him off, using a slow pace as she was reading. Femslash turned the vibrator up to max and began to wank off at the woman parts. Everyone was smothering in lashings of emotion.   
  
Het's eyes rolled back suddenly. Had she come? thought Femslash.   
  
All of a sudden, her cock began to twitch and shoot out wet, clear stuff from a flaccid cock. Yes, she had.   
  
Femslash was repelled by it, much too masculine for her tastes. Slash on the other hand, leaned over and lapped it off Het's thigh. He licked it all off, and rolled over on top of Het, not how she liked it.  
  
Het pushed the laptop aside and barred her teeth. He rolled again, holding her, ending up atop of Femslash! Het was on top, Femslash was underneath, and the vibrator lay on the sheets, unheeded.  
  
Femslash yelled, "Get off me! You're so heavy! Oof."  
  
Slash managed to wriggle free and Het landed atop Femslash. Her other plastic tit fell off, revealing a stain of glue underneath.   
  
Femslash heated up. There were no breasts, but there was an odd-looking lady lying atop of her. She looked confused. Her fiery red hair draped over her shoulders, sexily. Pity about the stubble.   
  
Slash got into position and coaxed Het on top again. She complied.   
  
"I think your cock's too big for the groove," pointed out Femslash.   
  
"I'll have to bounce," said Het. She did so and set forth a rhythm. Femslash wound her legs round Slash's thigh and rose up to grind her crotch into Het's hips.  
  
Slash panted with the effort. He propped himself up on pillows and began to touch Het's flaccid cock. It twitched again, but she waved him off. It was too sensitive.  
  
Femslash grabbed Het by the shoulders and really went at it. She humped her clit against her body until she was sore and in need of relief.   
  
"Do me," she moaned. "I want to come."  
  
"I don't swing that way," snapped Het, and spoilt it. "I wouldn't know what to do."  
  
"Lick me," said Femslash, hot and swollen with pleasure.   
  
"Pump me," suggested Slash. "Blow me, rim me, tie me up and spank me!"  
  
Het bounced higher, unaware of how she looked. Slash looked fed up now instead of smiling.   
  
"You've bounced off me," he said. "Bounce lower and grind your hips forward."  
  
Het did so, and he moaned. His cock bent underneath her and she slithered down to his belly.   
  
"Turn round and let me fuck you up the ass," he insisted.   
  
"But I've never—" said Het. But she stopped and turned right round. Femslash found her cooler other side.   
  
"Right," said Slash. "Here I go." He prodded his cock forward and plunged it in in one fluid movement. Het gasped.   
  
"How did you do that without lube?" asked Femslash. "Your fiction's full of it."  
  
Slash sat up further and encouraged Het to rock back and forth. Het set apace a more peaceful rhythm.   
  
"It's so tight," he moaned. And slapped her on the arse. "You know what you're doing, dear."  
  
Het shook her head, and her red locks tumbled and flowed down her back. She put one hand on Slash's knee to steady herself.   
  
Femslash got the vibrator, and concentrating on Het's hairstyle, started on her clit.   
  
"Hey, I need that," snapped Het. "Can you put it in my groove when I'm finished. I'm fairly sure I don't have a prostate."  
  
"Women like anal and come from it," pointed out Femslash. "We don't have prostates."  
  
"No, we don't," approved Het. "I'll keep trying."  
  
Femslash spread her legs in a flat V and moaned luxuriously. She moved the vibrator from his clitgasm onto her vag for a deeper sensation. She wanted to come again.   
  
She leant back and inserted the vibe, watching Het's bouncing hair-do the whole time. She'd never really gotten off on male parts before; she'd always thought of women.   
  
"Here," said Slash and stuck one plastic tit on Femslash's closest side. Het readjusted it.  
  
Femslash came and came in waves. She yelled out one long low note. She ran one filthy hand through her blonde hair and shook it over her face. Writhing, she wondered who best downstairs could make her come harder.   
  
Slash bunched up and came, too. He balled his fist in the sheets, and grabbed at Het with his spare hand. "Oh, dear, you were magnificent!" he said, a while later.  
  
Het stopped moving and pulled herself off. "And to think I only ever came over the porn!" she sighed.   
  
Femslash handed her the vibrator, but she shooed it aside. Het sat astride Slash's stomach and let him massage her flaccid cock. "Up!" he said.  
  
"No, it won't," said Het. "I thought you knew that."  
  
"No, get up here. I'll suck you off. Or kiss you."  
  
"Yes, I'll like that," said Het, fluttering her hands. She rode up his body and let him kiss her cock. It twitched. He reached for her groove, and massaged it with one hand. He sped faster and faster, eliciting gasps and moans.   
  
She purred, shaking her red hair over her face, as she drew her hips back and forth, teasing him with her half-bent cock. He kissed the tip, and reached his lips all the way round, and drew her into his mouth and throat. He tilted his head forward, and started again, all the time fingering her off.   
  
The base of her cock started twitching and she came again, moaning and chanting, "Slash, Slash, Slash. Ohhhh!"  
  
She shuffled back onto his stomach and let his breathing readjust. She extracted herself with a pop.   
  
Meanwhile, Femslash was reviewing femslash artwork on a social network. She liked it a lot.   
  
"Oh, Slash. Thank you," Het murmured. "That was wonderful."  
  
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, my dear." He swallowed, again.   
  
Het got off, and let Slash peel off the condom. He turned it inside out, almost, tied it off and dumped it in the trash can.   
  
Het made her way to the en suite bathroom and switched on the shower. By the sounds of it, everyone else in the hotel was waking up early too.  
  
"Oh my God, what do I look like?!" they heard her shriek. "I look like a man! I need a shave. I'm so sorry, I forgot. I don't usually have company."  
  
Femslash picked up her bra, panties and dress. It was a plain, simple affair, a classic, best to show off her curves and can. She wore it, wondering where she left the key to her room.   
  
Slash put his pants back on, and tucked his cock down one side. He put his T-shirt on back-to-front, and did up his jacket.   
  
Then they had a hunt for shoes. Femslash couldn't remember which pair were hers. They settled for one of each!   
  
Het came out of the shower, towel around her chest. She wore a turban and lots of shaving foam.   
  
"Oh, are you leaving?" she called simply. "Thank you for a wonderful morning. Bye!" She waved.   
  
Femslash let the door shut gracefully behind her. Slash was still holding a shoe, and half-trying to get on the other one.   
  
Just then Sapphic passed in a haze of perfume, all eager to get downstairs. Femslash followed her nose, beaming.   
  
Just Slash left then. He put on his high heel and walked unsteadily down the corridor, with one foot in one sneaker on the other.


End file.
